Embroidery of Thoughts: 01/2004

Thursday

Techno addict

How much time do you spend on the computer? Do you sit infront of your computer till you're actually growing roots at the basement? Or you might actually start to rot by the computer and start growing molds? I am sometimes, maybe more than I think, a computer junkie. I could sit down infront of my computer hours and hours and may not even notice that the sun is up and has already gone down. Is that pathetic or what? But somedays I get so bored with it like I have reached the end of the internet. I bet there are a lot of people who are like me who's lives are hooked up to the computer like a life support machine. Some people actually make computers their lives. I mean, you wake up in the morning and turn on the computer. You come from work nobody's home, thank God there's the computer. There's no reason why people won't love computers. It's an all around helper.

Monday

Hongkong on my mind

I found this while rummaging through old photos. It's a view from the roof top of the seven story building called Happy Garden in Hongkong. A panoramic view that had become a sanctuary for me whenever things gets bad.It had been a great transition for me moving to another country. But that was just the first move, little did I know that I will even move farther away from home and got stranded on the other side of the globe. It has been such an adventure for me. From the hustle and bustle of daily life in Hongkong, time seems to fly twenty times per second. It's too fast paced, one has to literally keep running. Things that I love about Hongkong; the method of transportation comes with buses. Yes doubled decked buses for longer trips and small buses for short trips. I love the underground train (MTR). It's is quickest way to get to a destination. Just don't fall asleep and miss your stop.One time, me and a friend were chatting inside the train. We were so into our discussion that we missed our stop, we had to go back and wasted time going back and forth. Even when using the buses, people actually fall asleep and miss their stop. Had to get to another bus and spend more HKdollars just to get back to the original destination. Shopping malls are also abundant there. And I mean everything! You could find a lot of brand names in the latest fashions and the latest gadgets that come from Japan. HK has a lot of British influences. It has an overflowing melting pot of culture.Americans, Brittish, Aussies, Africans. Among the Asians - Indians, Pakistans seems to be almost everywhere with their sales businesses.They would even go around with their products especially when Central Square is crowded with Filipinas off from work.There are Indonesians, Thai, Sri Lankans,Malaysians some Arabs.Others like Japanese, Koreans too and many other heritage. Of course Chinese people are evrywhere, but they come from different places, Singapore,Macau,Taiwan. Most people cross the border from mainland China and take a job in Hongkong and go home for the weekend via the train. That's right, you can go from Hongkong to parts of China by an hour ride in the train. We have been to some places like Shenzhen, Guangdong, and Guangzhou. Except on our trip back from Guangzhou we used a speed boat which took about 90 minutes.The places we passed by was like small villages and some of the areas were used for factory buildings. I even saw a very huge building for Mc Donalds there. It's not a surprise because a lot of the products they bring here in the states are made in China because labor is cheaper in other countries. The finnished products they bring them back to the states. When I compare the transition I had to hurdle moving to Hongkong was a lot easier than what I had been through here in the states. First of, Hongkong is just an hour and forty five minutes by plane to home. The second reason is that there are Filipinas everywhere and so is Filipino food. You could actually walk down the street and it won't take that long before you see other Filipinas. Then there's a lot of Filipino stores where one could actually buy things that you could buy in a sari-sari store in the Philippines. You could find almost anything, if not you could special order it. When it comes to food, I love the fresh seafood and a lot of varieties of vegetables. You could get them real fresh and still alive. They could also make dishes with a lot of varieties of noodles.From flat,to thin,egg noodles, rice noodles,dry, wet in broth, crunchy even different colors and texture. With my experience with real chinese dishes, I'm not at all impressed with the chinese food that are served in Chinese restaurants here in the states. They are not authentic. Either they had to Americanize it, or they don't have the ingredients,most restaurants tend to follow what the locals dig. And some might have to resort to what is available in a certain place. Some dishes are not really American friendly especially when they use fish sauce, but I still long for the real Cantonese dishes. I think it's fun to live in Hongkong especially if one knows how to speak Cantonese. Some speaks brocken english, but you could go to a place where they don't speak any english at all. I have learned some basic Cantonese, some I understand but I can't really speak it. My Cantonese have already been rusty since I haven't used it in more than three years. I still speak (siu siu) a little bit. I have to relearn some other words I guess.
It has been a great experience for me. And I wonder when will I visit the place again. maybe one day. Who knows?

It's pouring, the old man is snorring!

Just bored trying to kill time while it keeps pouring outside. It has been doing that since last night. I woke up with a big fat clapping sound of thunder. It was still dark outside that I thought it was still early. But when the loud rolling thunder woke me in an instant, I realized it was just cloudy, foggy and raining outside. Just want to curl back to bed, but was wide awake then. While getting bored thinking of what to do thought I'd take the quiz at quizilla. And here's the result. Not that very creative loafing, huh.
Contrast

Dark shadow. Something has drawn you into darkness
in the past, and you're now trying to get out
of it. The darkness is already inside you, and
getting it out will be hard, but if you try,
maybe one day you can be who you want to be
again. Don't give in!!!

What kind of dark person are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Saturday

I need my own star to follow

"Funny how an endeavor could be a pleasure to someone and could be a curse to another." Somehow it's true. I met Mr.H yesterday on my training. I learned a bunch from the hands on immersion. We had a long chat after the kids settled down. We talked about a lot of things. He talked about how he loves mowing and gardenning and playing with soil and plants. But his brother loathes doing it. That day he went to the barn to supervise about four misbehaving teenagers make up for their misbehaving. "Consequence",that's what they call the punishment for any kids misbehaving and disrespecting the supervisor. He supervised them do their job until lunch time.He's right, some people love tending farms and I mean animal farms or crop farms or any other kinds of farming. But some people consider doing such thing with disgust especially when confronted with the "dirty" chore such as cleaning the manure or having to dig into filth and stench. I guess, it's also depends on peoples' interest and what motivates them to do such endeavors. I think that a lot of people may not love their jobs but they still get up early in the morning at the ring of their alarm clock to join the traffic ang throng of people in the streets just to go to the jobs they loathe so much.Maybe not all people. It's just very hard to find the job a person really love to do. Sometimes I wonder how many people really love what they are doing. Do they do it for the sake of doing something or just to finance the ever daily demands of living? Sometimes I think I am not being realistic. I wanted to find that job that I love, something that would actuate my enthusiasm and devotion. But I guess there's no such undertaking. I am not looking for an easy one,I am looking for atleast something that I like doing. I just want something that I would love doing. Because if I love doing it then half of the work is already done. You know what I mean, if you love doing something then it doesn't require so much effort and pretense to do it. Ahhh! I'm sure there are a lot of people who share this yearning.
=====0000=====
I juts love this yak box that records my endless yakking and yapping. It's sometimes a life-saver especially when I feel the volcano inside me is about to errupt. It's always there for me. It's ever pressence really is perfect for dumping my daily garbage. Talking about garbage, do you carry your daily baggage at your back from day to day? It is advisable that we do unload our daily baggage one way or another. Otherwise, it will break our back as it gets heavier and heavier everyday. According to my sister, this daily baggage that we carry at our back gets heavier and heavier until we can no longer carry them and we would drop on the floor on our knees and cry in utter despair "I can't take this anymore!
But I would like to think of this area as my "keeper" rather than just a dumpsite. A dumpsite is filthy,stinky and messy so are my thoughts but they are mine and I treasure some of them. Some, I'd rather discard, but they are part of me.They evolved from me.

Thursday

Happy Chinese New Year

Gong Xi Fa Cai ( Kong Hae Fat Choi), (Cantonese for) " May you have a prosperous new year"

Happy Chinese New Year to all our chinese counterparts all around the globe. It is the year of the monkey, 2004. It's the most celebrated part of the year especially for Buddhists. Chinese New Years are very memorable for me because it was during the celebration of the Chinese new year that my now husband met for the very first time.I remember it was moderately cold that day. And it was a holiday that I was able to have few days off consecutively. We roamed the city. Among the places we visited are; Ocean Park, it's a wide amusement park were we had cable rides, we watched panda bears, snakes, fish and we also watch a dolphine show.We also climbed the supposedly highest escalator in Asia which was located at the park used for getting from the bottom of the park to the top of the mountain where other man-made sites were created. The next day we attempted to go to Lantau Island where the biggest Buddha statue in Asia is located, but when we got to the bus station going to the island, there was a mile long line of people trying waiting to get to the island. I forgot that it was Chinese New Year and hundreds of buddhists flock the area during this holiday. We just roamed the city that day, we went to the shopping mall and walked around Kowloon Park which is off Nathan Road. We just went around the places by buses and the MTR, an underground train.
We ended our evening eating at the "Rainforest Cafe". It has a romantic atmosphere. Candle light and thunder storm effects. It's literally a jungle look inside. At the entrance are domes of aquariums with hundreds of water species swimming. Beside the tables are small waterfalls, the entire area was designed with green vines and foliages, plants, flowers and all kinds of animals. Of course not real animals but a zoo of fake animals. Outside by the wishing well is a mechanical crocodile that opens it's mouth. Many eager kids enjoy watching the crocodile with anticipation and fear in their faces every time the crocodile moves.

Chinese new year reminds me of "moon cakes". I love moon cakes. they are very similar to the Pinoy snack called "hopia". And what I love most is getting "lai see" or the red pockets they give out during the chinese new year. These red envelopes contains money. It's very exciting to get them during the holiday. A lot of the Filipina friends I met would make fond of the greeting saying "Kong Hae Fat Choi, lai-see tuloy". A Korean guy told me that "Kong Hae fat Choi" means "give me money" when I greeted him. But of course he was just joking. It's very colorful during the holidays, very festive decorations mostly red,(it's considered the lucky color) in the malls, houses and everywhere else. Oh, one more thing. I remember that during the first day of the chinese new year we, were not allowed to sweep the floor. According to them, we should not sweep, so that the good luck will remain in the home. We only swept at the end of the day.

Salivating monster

All I can think of is food,hmmmm. I had a big bowl of mussels earlier for lunch. But before that I had miso soup. The miso soup, I didn't like so much the broth, I must have poured too much salt. So I just slurrrrped the tofu sprinkled with "wakame"(Japanese term for seaweed) and green onions. I let J try some but he made that aweful look like he's eating something sour. He didn't like the texture of the tofu. I like tofu. I miss the tofu snack back in the Philippines called "taho". I think it's tofu with tapoica balls. Speaking of tapioca balls, I miss the "bubble tea" we used to get in New Orleans. It's a drink, very similar to that of smoothie. They use a lot of fruits and at the botom are tapioca balls or "sago" in Tagalog.

I just had to snack on the left over rice noodles which I made last night. It's basically flat rice noodles with "gai lan" chinese brocoli, with fried thin slices of marinated pork seasoned with soy sauce. I learned how to cook this dish when I was in Hongkong. When I saw the rice noodles and the "gai lan" in the Asian stores, I was hooked.

Let me tell you what I also was able to find on our trip to the International Farmers Market, I was able to find green mangoes (Indian Mangoes) which I have devoured the last few days. I also found "buko" or young coconut. I was able to drain a tall glass of buko juice. It was very refreshing. Cold buko juice is superb especially in summer when it's sweltering hot. I also bought pancit canton and pancit palabok.So, there's the Pinoy goods. I even saw some sugar canes freshly cut, but I didn't buy this time. We tried it before and J, finds it different, but he liked the sweet juice. We sucked and gnawed on them. I didn't know they also plant sugar canes here in the South.

Wednesday

Loafing

Your bumming days will be over soon "Ms.sleep a lot!" J, teasingly told me yesterday. In a way it's true. No more lounging around and wearing jammy's all day till it's bed time again. I woke up at exactly 6:10 this morning and have been up since then. It's the first time I actually witness the sunrise. I haven't seen the dawn for months now since my schedule have been out of wack. I am practicing getting up very early in the morning in preparation for the training which is at seven in the morning. I want to condition my internal clock to ring me up early. The sunrise is actually very pretty from where I am right now, bright and glowing orange yellow. I believe there's a therapuetic effect to the soul, I mean getting up early, sip some coffee or cocoa and watch the sunrise. It's refreshing to watch the start of daybreak. Watch people start their day, watch the movements, the flow, the stream of life. Ah! it's wonderful to be alive! Although a few weeks back I was lacking enthusiasm.I brood about things. I'm glad the days are changing. Well, some days seems better days than others.Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome."

-----000-----
Funny because it's true:
"Arguing with your Boss is like wrestling with a pig in mud. After a while you realise that while you are getting dirty, the pig is actually enjoying it."

Tuesday

Adrenalin Rush

Are you as nervous as I am when you go for a a job interview? I get very nervous, but I would do my best to fight it. You know it's just like having butterflies in your tummy. No matter how many interviews I go, I still have that adrenalin rush that would sometimes make me feel at lost during the interview. It's like my mind suddenly stopped working right there in the middle of the conversation when I needed it so badly. All of a sudden I feel like mute or suddenly the words coming out of my out of my mouth doesn't match what I am thinking. Or I end up saying the wrong word.Or something like my sense of thinking suddenly get out of wack.No matter how prepared I am or no matter what preparation I do, there seems to be some unexpected turns of discussion that surprises me. And at the end of the interview I feel limp, wondering if I said the right word or said too much. Just as the interview is over, the circulation of the brain resumes and then the right answers to the questions seems to be abundant by then, when I don't need them anymore. Sometimes, it's frustrating.By then, I would be relieved it's over, but sometimes not content of my answers to their questions. But feel good to be summoned for an interview. It means there's a chance for me. And the more I go for those interviews I feel better, calmer and am learning what to expect for the next interviews although I still feel a little nervous atleast it gets milder. I think I am very transparent that whatever is boiling within me would show up in my face. So, the more relax I am, I could actually better relate and be more confident with myself. Then, I would actually enjoy the interview better that it would feel just like chatting with someone else, except they would take note every word I say. Oh well, I guess I just keep practicing as the cliche goes "Practice makes perfect".Atleast I think I have improved a lot compared when I was new to the country. Still I have to work on it. I think that determination and motivation to perfect an endeavor it is also essential.

Saturday

Creatures in between the worlds

Gargoyles.In architechture, they are waterspouts that drain water
from the parapet gutter. Originally the term referred only to the carved lions of classical cornices or to terra-cotta spouts, such as those found in the Roman structures at Pompeii. The word later became restricted mainly to the grotesque, carved spouts of the European Middle Ages.

Grotesque.In architecture and decorative art, fanciful mural or sculptural decoration involving mixed animal, human, and plant forms. The word is derived from the Italian grotteschi, referring to the grottoes in which these decorations were found c. 1500 during the excavation of Roman houses such as the Golden House of Nero.

No wonder I associated gargoyles with something dark, because it is a dark art. The ornamental stuff I saw in that place looked like a black bat with it's wings spread out but with a tail and dragon abdomen and snout. It was right by the side of the door. It looked creepy. Then on the coffee table was a plastic looking peice of ornament black green in color square in shape but on the side looks like a deformed bat with it's mouth wide open and teeth showing. On the counter tops, are similar artistic stuff, but ugly looking creatures. I think they are supposed to be mythical creatures something mutated into something odd from it's original form. Half human, half-animal or half-human half-plant, some deformed looking creature. It's creepy. Under the table was Anne Rice book. So, the guy who lives there (Stephen) seems to be into that kind of art or his interest seems to lean towards the grotesque and acoustics.

Wired up

I haven't been into anything new lately, so when J told me about a party. I liked the idea of partying a little bit. I am no party animal, but I do like to venture on new experiences once in a while. Yesterday was a big day for us. We drove up to Atlanta, but on our way there, we dropped by Tanger Outlet. I love shopping for clearance sales and in the outlet places like this, they are far cheaper compared to the prices in the mall or in the retail stores. And they have about a hundred brand names. The places I frequent are; Old Navy, Gap, Levi's and Tommy,and sometimes drop by to the other stores there just to look around for good deals. I don't really buy if it's not a great deal unless I really realy like it. Anyway, this time, we didn't stay that long.

After about 45 minutes driving through traffic in Atlanta, we were able to find Wolfgang Puck Express. We never really knew about this place until J got a coupon from the radio station last Christmas. We decided to check out the place. When we went it, the interior looked very vibrant, nice color combinations. It seems an elegant place. But it's an express, not a lot of people dine in. So, we were the only people there that evening. I ordered Chinios salad and J ordered a thin crust pizza and we shared a small bowl of butternut squash and a peanut butter cookie. The salad was okey. It was tossed napa cabbage with honey mustard. The soup was great. I enjoyed it. It has this sweet flavor similar to that of sweet potato. And the pizza was fine. I am not so much into pizza, but it was not bad. I liked how they made the tea too. It was perfect. Not too sweet not too bland.

After dinner we cruised around downtown Atlanta. We got caught in the evening traffic. It was justvery busy downtown, too many cars. We headed back to find the International Farmer's Market. Not only their products are international, the people shopping are diverse. It's interesting to see different people; Chinese, Vietnamese, Mexicans, Indians, Caucasians and others. It looks like a huge grocery store. You can see all varieties of vegetables, root crops, fruits and a lot of stuff you don't see at the grocery store. I go there for seafoods. They have better deals when it comes to seafoods. We bought a lb. of shrimp and a lb. of mussells. I feasted my eyes just looking at all the varieties of fruits and vegetables. There were varieties of fish and seafood too. And they have a tank full of live swimming tilapia and other fish. I kind'a miss the open market thingy they have in Hongkong where you can find live seafoods from fish to shrimp and crabs even lobsters. And it's only here where you can find a lot of varieties of fresh vegetables and greens and herbs. I always enjoy going to this place. It's just not that close to home though. An hour and fifteen or twenty minutes maybe. So, we just shop here when we have time.

After all the dilly dallying we dropped by my brother-in-law. His 11 year old son Alex was there to spend weekend with his dad. we played virtual baseball. It was fun. It was like playing baseball without a ball. We just spent about thirty minutes when J told them that we are on our way again back to Jim's Place where we would meet his other brother Jeff and his friend Debbie.

When we got there, Jeff and Debbie were late. But we met Michelle and another guy. We waited for about 5 or ten minutes then the two showed up. Next we talked how are we going to the place where the party is without getting lost. Then, we decided we would just follow each other's car. Debbie gave me her cellphone for us to call them just in case we got separated. We had our small walkie talkie, so we handed one to Michelle. And we huddled up, tailing each other all the way through a winding road until we came to a quiet neighborhood. We all went downto this steep driveway and into a house. When we got there, there was nobody on sight. Then, we were escorted to the basement. I had no idea what kind of party it was until Michelle told me put some ear plugs. We didn't have any plugs, so we teared up some tissue and stuck them into our ears. Then they openned the door. Right there in the basement where four people playing guitars and drums. Ear shattering music. Without the ear plugs one's eardrums could burst. I mean, they are like a band group complete with equipments, all musical instruments connected to the microphones and speakers. It was swell and all, it's just really loud it could explode the whole building. It was a great experience for me. I drunk wine cooler while the guys drank beer. There were three women there, including me and about five guys as the audience. There were four band players. There wasn't much conversation when the band was playing.It was impossible to hear what the other person is saying. So, we just conversed when the band took a break.Then, one of the people there suggested they play a DVD of the Reefer's Madness. It's a movie about the 1930's propaganda against the use of marijuana. I have never seen it, so I watched it a little bit. Some of the scenes are very funny. We just hang around, talked about stuff and listened to the loud banging with our ear plugged. It was fun. I enjoyed talking to Michelle on the upstairs where we could still hear the band playing. It was even better listenning from a distance. We watched "Day calm" on the background and talked a lot of stuff. I told her I have never seen snow and then she told me we should have a pact to drive to South Carolina one time to see snow. So, we shook hands. I don't know if I will ever meet her again, but there's the pact. She said, she's from Illinois and she grew up around snow in winter with thick jackets and all. It was normal up there since every year they have snow. Not like here in the South were everything closes if there's snow storm because it rarely snows and they don't have the equipments to clear the roads. We looked around the room we are in, there were some weird black carvings on the table on the counter top and one by the wall hanging like a bat with tails and all that. I was curious about how they call them, she said they are called "gargoyles". I associate these carvings to something dark or evil. But she said it's not really bad. And then she said that it's European.They are used as guardians in buildings. I noticed that in some movies where they have these weird deformed beasts hanging by the gutter or side of a building. I never really knew much about it. Perhaps later I'll find out more about it. But it seems that these gargoyles are the equivalent to the lion carvings used by chinese people. If you noticed a lot of Chinese people have lion heads or lion carvings by their doors and gates. I will find out more about these later. So, anyway, in that living room there's a deer head mounted just above the fireplace. We argued whether the eyes are real, so we went up close to it and it's marble, a big marble. He has a rooster and ducks on top of his dresser. Michelle thought that he must hunt. Out of nowhere a cat came out to the living room. But then it retreated back to the other room and never came out. We tried to let it out, but it just laid them staring us in the dark with it's gleaming eyes. We let the cat be and returned to our sit. We talked about Atlanta, the traffic there. I talked about New Orleans. J probably was wondering what I am doing upstairs, so he came and checked on me once in a while. By then it was time to go home, it was already two in the morning. I couldn't believe we were up that late. I wasn't that tired until we were driving back to Macon. Sleep seems to swallow me while I tried to stay awake. I gave in and slept. I didn't feel at all, it seems a quick drive when we got home. It was cold, all I wanted to do was to crawl into bed. I quickly put away the groceries and got into bed. Lights out Zzzzzzzzz.

Thursday

Smile! Open your mouth wide....wider...widest

My mouth felt sore last night. I can almost taste the steel as I chew on my food. It didn't hurt when we went to eat at KFC with a bucketful of honey drenched barbeque chicken. It was too sweet to my taste. It wasn't my favorite. But I was able to use my mouth that they just poked and clawed and scraped with those steel thingy. You know what I mean. They even stuck this needle like thingy piercing my gums while I turn to the left, to the rightand forward and have my mouth wide open. And then when my mouth started to bubble up with blood they would stick this suction hose down my throat. I tried so hard not to think of the pain. I would literally command my brain to think of something, something to occupy my mind just not to think of those shining steel clawing and jabbing into my gums. Most of the job they did were not really that painful. It's just when they hit a sensitive part or a nerve that makes me clench my muscles to endure the pain. It was worst when they had to scrape the root canals for the first time. My whole face was numb from all the anesthesia but I could still feel the poking needles peircing and tearing up the tissues of my gums. I was over it of course then, they had me come for a monthly cleaning. It wasn't of course my idea.But I guess it's for my own good. It's courtesy of sis-in-law, she's the dentist, otherwise it would be very very expensive to go to the dentist every month. It would just drain out a lot of "mulah". I bet I have the cleanest teeth after hundreds of hosing and suctioning and poking and jabbing. But it also means that I have to really really do my part flossing and all that to keep my gums healthy. It's not fun going to the dentist but of course it's a healthy requirement. I never knew I even had problems with my gums until I set foot in the dentist office. I never felt anything really.No pain, no nothing. And I thought I had healthy teeth and gums. I didn't know they were already worms chewing down into my gums little by little, piece by piece. It just sneaked up on me. I recall I have not been very active in keeping my gums healthy but I did and do brush my teeth two to three time a day, but apparently it wasn't enough. Atleast now I feel confident that my gums are getting healthy and learned how to keep them that way. And I have a bright new smile.

Sunday

Holly Guacamole

I brought out my mat and spread it in our living room. I decided to take advantage of the free time that I have to do aerobics. My own style of earobics, free style. I don't think there's a set of exact rules to follow when it comes to earobics though. So, I started by shadow boxing and kicking trying to target different muscles of the body my torso,my legs and even the muscles of my back. I did it repeating same sequence and equal counts on my left and right body parts. I have a pair of 2 lbs.dumbbell that I use to lift and exercise the muscles of my arm and upper torso. I also tuned the t.v. to an exercise and fitness show which helped a lot in motivating me. I also did cycling using my mat. After a few minutes of repeating all these, I felt warm. My body doesn't feel the cold anymore. I went up and down the stairs while holding the dumbell. I felt motivated. I feel better after exercising especially that it's so hard to go out and walk in the freezing weather. I really feel good after exercising and gives me the motivation to do the chores I have postponed days ago. I could really bum out all day long, curl on the couch for hours watching soap opera or whatever is on until my neck literally aches. But when I exercise, I start to become alive and kicking. Anyway, I got things done now. And ready to snack.

What comes to mind when you think of avocados? Geez, some people never really think of it as a fruit or rather, they don't think of eating it like other fruits. The only thing that I can think of where they use avocado is on guacamole which is used as toppings for Mexican dishes. The other one I can think of is an avocado salad served in Japanese restaurants. But that's something you would know if you are into avocados. Not a lot of people would eat it like eating other fruits as snack or dessert. I don't know but there maybe some people who eats it like I do, especially if they are Filipinos. I enjoy eating avocados as dessert. I sprinkle it with powdered milk ans sugar of course already peeled then I cut them into cubes. Viola! it's yummy. A good source of vitamin E. Some beauty tips actually suggests mashing it and applying to the face. But for me, I would just eat it. I'm sure my skin benefits from it as well. My husband's friend once saw me with a bowl of avocados and he asked " Are you eating guacamole?" I said "No silly, just avocado." then I explained again that to a Filipino like me, it is considered a fruit and thus eaten as a fruit. Maybe not all Filipinos do, but I learned it growing up in a town in the Philippines where fruits are always abundant.

Saturday

Fading...faded....gone.

Once in a while I think of a very close friend of mine whom I haven't heard from a long time. I just keep wondering whats going on with her life that she doesn't call or write me anymore. She's probably all too busy with her life. I have sent her several e-mails and greeting cards but never heard from her since then. Maybe one of these days she'll surprise me with a letter or a phone call. At first it bothered me so much that she doesn't write or call. But then on the other hand I know that her job is very demanding. So, I try to let it slide. But as it goes farther, it seems that we are going apart. Simply fading. I mean, she must have met new circle of friends, may even found a new bestfriend. I should be happy for her. I understand that our distance have somehow brought us apart. But still I long for her to drop by once in a while and say "Hi". I guess, I miss the attention. I mean we had been very close friends for a very long time and all of a sudden everything went down the drain. I will of course cherish our friendship. I guess I should wish her the best in whatever she's doing and pursuing right now. We don't get together and share things anymore , so I don't know what's she's up to. She is a very sweet, loving and caring friend. Maybe that's why I miss her a lot now that we don't talk to each other anymore. We shared a lot of things in life. She has been a big inspiration for me all those years back in the days when I was single. We had lots of fun together. It's so hard to just throw everything out of the window. I remain optimistic that she might just be waiting for a day for her to return my letters and apologize for her long absence. Even if she's never gonna write or call, she'll still be a very good friend to remember.

Tuesday

A little unwell

How do you describe this state of the mind where everything seems to be streaming and flowing right there by your sight but you can't have words to describe what's hapenning? No, I'm not stun, not numb, not shocked, not paralyzed. Well, maybe I just don't care. Maybe I wasn't really looking, maybe I was just staring pass through things. I know my mind seems "see through" right now. Not hollow, but in a frozen state. Not frozen by the chilly weather. It just feels like I ran out of things to do and think and feel. Ok, maybe I'm just playing with words trying to impress you with some magical things going on around me. The truth is, there's nothing going on. Nothing exciting to talk or write about. I'm simply playing with my keyboard trying to see what words I will come up with.

Ok, now my mind seems working now. I was just watching all these shows on t.v. where they would go up to unsuspecting people and play joke on them and get caught by a hidden camera. It seems fun, especially the one where they get $20 dollars for every correct answers to a question. I don't like so much the one's where they scare people. I guess I worry that what if the person have a heart attack or do something that will injure them. And actually I have heard of some show people got sued by their victims. It seems it's all over the place. There's "Girls behaving wild, Fear tactic" and others I can't remember. Can't go anywhere without being "punked" by these people. They are doing it all over the place. Oh and there's another show "The man show" that has some outragious stunts. A twelve year old put to work selling beer on the street, hitting on women sunbathing by the beach. Some of the stunts are lame on some shows. Some are really funny. Some are outragious. Some are simply entertaining. Sometimes these shows makes me a little paranoid. What if I'm walking down the street and someone was just trying to make a conversation with me.And I would think "okey" and try to look around for hidden cameras.But of course I wouldn't see any because they are hidden. You know what I mean, you never know if they are just trying to prank you or not. But of course maybe it's just me. Maybe I just watch a lot of t.v. But hey, it could happen. They are pretty sneaky, one day they might get you.

Ok, there goes my senseless mumbling trying to talk t.v. I mean t.v. could be the best companion yout got. One day you can hear yourself talking to the t.v. You can even start yelling and scolding it like a real live person. Some people do that. I haven't been doing that yet even if I get so deranged and really crave for someone to talk to. The day I would start doing that, I might get very scared that I would think I really lost my mind.

Monday

Going Bananas

My attempt of making things from scratch didn't work out. First I tried to make loaf bread. It came out hard and salty. Next, I tried to make bread rolls. I followed the instructions correctly, but still they didn't come out well, but J says that's it's not that bad. They taste more like biscuits than rolls. My third attempt is a success. I just brought out the steaming hot banana bread out of the oven to cool off. Well, this time, I didn't make it from srcatch though. It came in a box.I just added oil, water and eggs. The next thing I want to make is pizza from scratch. J loves pizza. He could devour a whole pizza. He could even eat pizza for breakfast. In fact, he just ate a pizza just a few minutes away. Pizza is not really my favorite. I like the crust soft and newly baked. I often ask him why he likes pizza that much. He doesn't seem to have an answer. He would only say it's because they are gooey and cheesy. I like some pastries. I grew up eating different kinds of pastries just like the Filipino favorite morning tummy filler called "pan de sal".

I am not really a drunk. I mean I grew up sobber and even now that I am older, I don't really enjoy so much getting drunk. But J is a beer drinker. No matter how I argue about the long term effect of beer drinking - beer belly, he is just into beer drinking. He just does it ocassionally whenever he feels like partying. I just saw him got drunk once or twice and only if we are just partying at home. I do drown myself sometimes just for the heck of it. But booze isn't really my favorite. I just learned drinking spirits and alcohol when I got married because I was surrounded by people who drink. So I do it socially. I do drink moderately especially that J brings home a bottle of wine every now and then from his co-worker who does a wine tasting show on the radio. One or two glasses of wine before dinner time is I guess healthy, I have read it somewhere. Even beer actually is good for the heart when drunk moderately.

I started by drinking wine coolers then white wine. But I think red wines are better. I'm not really an expert when it comes to wine. I am just starting to get into it. It relaxes me at the end of the evening and even helps me to sleep especially those nights that I need to sleep early and wake up early.

Sunday

What does the wrinkles on the face say?

During the holidays, J's friend R, who works in New York came over to our place and spent the evening with us. He's fun to talk to. We didn't have anything to do that evening so we thought of playing scrabble. We went over the rules of the game. Of course I was already very familiar with the game because I had been playing it as a kid, in highschool and even in college. At the end of the game I won. It's of course obviously not a game that they play so often. The next day R, headed back to his mom's place to prepare for his trip back to New York.

After a few days, J told me that R reffered to J as a "craddle snatcher". J said "she's 28!" reffering to me. R said "eventhough" and then, J went on saying "she looks young, does she?" And then R said "yes she does look young". They have been friends for a long time.So, both guys are comfortable with even jokes like that.

After hearing this I didn't know what to think at first. But as I think about it, many people can't figure out exactly my age when asked. One reason could be my size. But our age difference with my husband is just about 2 years even if I call him "old man" which is not nice of me. The funny thing is, when we were in my hometown, some people told me I look older than him. Of course I told them he's 2 years older.

Imagine my surprise when they showed a group photo at Ehpinoy, one girl commented that I look like fifteen. It's of course a complement whenever they say I look younger than my age. Especially that in reality I am really getting old. I remember J, on his 30th birthday. It was more of a dreadful day than a happy day for him. He believes that being 30 is no longer the same. It seems to him that it's a border line between youthfulness and old age. I kept saying to him that it doesn't matter to me. But now that I am about to reach that age, I am getting worried. I still have two good years but as if I didn't want to reach that age. It seems that things are hapenning so fast. It seems it was only yesterday!Gone are the days...........I can almost feel life slipping through my fingers. Oh well, I'll do the best I can.

Thursday

Things old and new

Shopping! I love shopping. I can even be categorized as one of the sho-o-holics. It is even a sort of an outlet for me. I could spend hours browsing. I could shop till I drop dead. When I say I love shopping I am not a person who just buys things. I mean I love rummaging and canvassing around for better and great deals.I go around comparing prices. And when I buy it has to be a good deal. I guess it's typical for a girl like me who grew up in a country where haggling is the way of business. I sometimes refrain from shopping anywhere because I know I couldn't help browsing. J on the otherhand is the complete opposite. He dreads shopping. He might even be shop-o-phobic. He will squirm at the mention of mall or shopping. He will do anything to avoid shopping. Yesterday, we went to the grocery store in the afternoon about four. As soon as we pulled at the parking area, we noticed the entire parking lot crowded with cars. J almost screamed with shock of going in there with all these people. He then drove at the entrance to see what time they will be closing. Then he told me to go ahead and shop for some groceries while he goes home for about fifteen to thirty minutes then he could come pick me up. I guess I am more used to be in a throng of people. I have been in cities like in the Philippines where it's crowded and back in Hongkong where it's very very crowded you could even smell their breaths and body odor. It's not new to me. I even enjoy seeing people walking around. But of course in the US where most people spend time in their cars, some people tends to be stressed out in a crowded situations like J. He sometimes ruin my fun when we go shopping. Sometimes, I can't help getting mad at him. Yet he is very patient to accompany me and drives me around to shop. It just sucks that he loathes shopping. Somedays, I might meet a someone/friend whom I can share the pleasure of shopping.For the meantime, I should be thankfun for J for not allowing me to shop all the time, otherwise I would be broke everytime.

I used to think that new year's resolution is just crap or useless. I asked J what's his new year's resolution for this year and he simply said " to survive". Well, in a way it's a good one. To be able to survive the ordeals of everyday life till 2005. I also share this new year's resolution. If I am still alive and kicking at the end of the year, then it's a good sign I'm a survivor since everyday life can be bruttal sometimes. Of course a lot of things could happen between now and then.And I just hope good things happen while we are busy planning.

I just started including salads in our daily diet. May not be everyday but, I have started it. It is best when the vegetables are fresh and crisp. I had a friend when I was in New Orleans who was surprised that I eat raw vegetables. She's a Filipina, even if she had been in the Us for a while, she still doesn't like eating raw vegetables since most vegetables are cooked or half-cooked in the Filipino cuisine. I have learned that she doesn't eat raw vegetables when we went to get some sandwiches at a Subway. She ordered meatballs while I ordered turkey and bacon topped with lettuce,tomatoes,green peppers, onions, black olives with a dash of mustard and salt and black pepper. Then she commented that her co-workers are good at eating raw vegetables. It's not only now that eat salads but I didn't eat salads that much before. I only discovered that I love salads with vinaigrette dresssing. I even make my own dressing now. I use orange juice, lemon juice,olive oil, rice vinegar and salt and pepper. I just had a bowl earlier and it was yummy. Now I enjoy salads more than ever. Next time I could use some meat like chicken with my salads.

I just saw a woman passing by pulling about five dogs. I'm not sure if she's a dog trainer or she just owns them. But that's a lot of dogs. J, keeps asking me if we could get a dog or a cat. But I am hesitant about having pets around. Maybe I'm not so much a pet person. I have never had pets before. But I love the looks of cats, they are so cute. I have always loved plants though. But I might give it a try one day if we get a place that's spacey enough or if we ever settle in a place for a long time. Perhaps I just enjoy being carefree, no pets to starve if we go away for a while.

Embroidery of Thoughts

Thursday

Techno addict

Monday

Hongkong on my mind

It's pouring, the old man is snorring!

Saturday

I need my own star to follow

Thursday

Happy Chinese New Year

Salivating monster

Wednesday

Loafing

Tuesday

Adrenalin Rush

Saturday

Creatures in between the worlds

Wired up

Thursday

Smile! Open your mouth wide....wider...widest

Sunday

Holly Guacamole

Saturday

Fading...faded....gone.

Tuesday

A little unwell

Monday

Going Bananas

Sunday

What does the wrinkles on the face say?

Thursday

Things old and new

Links

Previous Posts

Archives