The Humdrum Life
It's just one of those days. The other day was warm, comfortable, the sun shining brightly. The birds are singing. And looking around doesn't even give a hint of the winter season. Days like these makes one feel like spending time outdoors, to just lavish oneself, bathe oneself with warm sunshine, catch every glimps of it before the southern sky swallows the radiant warmth and keeps it somewhere beyond the horizons when darkness comes.
The next day, the wind has gone wild, blowing anything and everything in it's path. The temperature has gone down, not that cold but the wind made it terribly cold. As I walked outside,the wind blowing my hair slapping my face, windchills sipping through the layer of clothes, making it's way through the tiny pores of my clothing. I just walked and took the beating, the wind flapping my jacket, trying to tear it into pieces. As I hurry, the wind tried to corner me, blowing harder as ever blinding me. I just had to pick up my feet and run.
Inside I looked out, the wind was still blowing, making a howling sound. Blowing the heads of the trees off, hard and wild. I just looked and stared, the blandness is there. Boredom maybe, like a worm eating me from the inside, shaking me. It was a crazy feeling. I almost feel the emotion of the wind, if it indeed has emotions. I wanted to smash things, just go wild and free my emotions, free myself for whatever that is inside gnawing me. It's uneasiness, I tried to walk it off, walked around the living room. Looked out through the glass door. Tried to sit on the couch and pushed a button on the remote control. It didn't help. I felt like shouting at the top of my lungs. If it wasn't that chilly I would have run and run, to get rid of the monster winthin me.
With such emotions within me, I was such in a foul mood. I wasn't myself. I was ill, temper wise.
I was unwell, that pretty much describes it. In this state, I would growl at everybody who irritates me, I was vulnerable. I would get irritated with even with little things. Dishes laying around especially in the living room. I get insane. I couldn't even put up with it myself.
But I do calm down after sometime. I would be myself again.
The next day I got saner, calmer, no growing horns nor the Hulk within that turns me green. Now that I think about it, it felt just like that, if I visualize myself into this "Hulk" state, suddenly growing greener by the minute and small clothes ripping off and this big green monster immerges. Except for me it doesn't come out so I had to try to do some stuff to get rid of the green monster. Sometimes strenuous exercises calms me down. No, it's not anger, it's probably a combination of boredom, hormones...whatever it is. It's just uneasiness that happens to me for some reason ocassionally. I have to find something to occupy myself or tire myself. It's like there's so much energy built up within me, that I have to use the energy otherwise I feel like exploding and (run amok as I describe it to hubby, he would then say that I shouldn't run amok unless he is around to restrain me, and of course we burst out laughing) Whatever it is, that's how describe it. It doesn't happen everyday, just on rare times. I usually able to deal with it.
The days went by so fast, the weather man says that the weather is going to be warmer today, so I decided I would go out. Enjoy the warm weather. Either walk or jog by the park or go to the mall and walk, shop around, look for good buys. You know when the weather is not too friendly for outdoor activities, I would go to the mall and walk there. I mean, it's double purpose, I can shop around, even if it's just window shopping and at the same time exercise. I have read it somewhere that in winter time it's really very hard to loose extra pounds, it's a struggle because the body is less active and the serotonin level is low when we are less active, it also affects our mood and thus, we resort to eating. The more active we get, it boost our serotonin level which makes us feel good. Atleast that's how they say it. And I have noticed that in winter I tend to eat more, it's also because the body needs more fuel to keep our body warm, but exercise could help with that. When I exercise I tend to feel warmer than usual, even if it's cold. And now as I think about it, I thought of how they fatten pigs by putting them in small pig pens, the less they move the fatter they get. And it's same thing with people, the less we move the more fat mass are accumulated in the body. So, by being more active, we burn the extra carbohydrates and energy that we take in which when not used converted into fat. Just how I look at it. Of course, the kind food intake and amount, metabolism, heredity even medications and illnesses can play a role in the process.
I have made it a point to conciously motivate myself no matter what the weather is, there's always a way for me to be active. Walk indoors, do stretches inside the house. So, it becomes a habit, when I sit on the couch for a long time, I try to get up and do some stretches while watching tv, which is great, I guess I do that so I won't get guilty. Sometimes I even feel guilty that I haven't done any stretching or exercise for a few days. I would say that if one develops a habit, it won't be as hard anymore. One has to enjoy doing it, if not it won't stick.
Some days are better, you know those days when you wake up and it feels light within, like the nights' sleep have taken away all the weariness and you are walking as light as a feather. I love those days. Especially when I wake up on the sunny side of the bed. It feels so great that I feela smile bursting when I'm out there. If I could whistle I could just be whistling my way out and about. These days I feel like shouting "It's so great to be alive!" It's so great to be existing when you are feeling like this, compared to other days. The weather and season affect people's moods. I try to make it a point to keep everything bright. Open the blinds in the morning. The outside air can make me feel better sometimes, compared to the stale air inside. I mean, outside can be as polluted, but living in America and in this season, inside the house got to be enclosed and sealed. During warmer days I try to open the windows to let in fresh air. Atleast our backyard just goes to the woods, the trees make it less polluted compared to living just very close to the highway where vehicles always pass by. Not only the air is polluted but also there's noise pollution. We haved lived before very close to a busy highway, and I tell you it wasn't fun because we can hear the humming sound of vehicles passing by. The horns, the loud motorcycles and every sound they make. We had to get a fan to keep on as a white noise. Since then we have developed the habit of keeping the fan on at night. We can sleep like a log with the fan on. It just masquerades all other noises, except for noises that are really loud. Of course really loud thunders can still be heard. That's probably when I went back home to the Philippines I woke up at every noise, the barking of the dog, the crying of our neighbors' puppy, the yelling of drunk people passing by, the shouting of people passing by, or people arguing in the streets. I could hear it all. But it didn't bother me at that time, I had to get up early anyway, since people start their day early. But on my last day I was really sleep deprived. But I guess I didn't mind, I was on vacation high.
But nice weathers make me go out and about. Well, there are those days that I get out of the wrong side of the bed and I get so grumpy for no apparent reason and makes me feel like growling at everbody. Those days, ha, keep out.I would say everyone has their own moods on certain days. Even men does, but I find it more tolerable to hang out with guys than women who are having a bad day. There are even people who turns into a bear when woken up in the morning. I'm glad I'm not like that although there are times I hate to be woken up, especially when I am trying to get some sleep. But I'm fine being woken up in the morning. Especially when I got to do something important on that day.
Of course we can't help the passing of time and days. It goes on and on, somedays we realize we are getting older. Sometimes it goes so fast and memories of yesterdays would be piled up with dusts. Before very long we have reach milestones. But that's the way it is, and always will be. We change, we get old. Places and people we know changes. It just goes on, and so is time. Warm weathers, rain pours, howling winds, chirping birds, seasons passing by. We would always be trapped in the magic of time, we would always be floating in the sands of time.
TAG OF HEARTS
Here's the TAg from Malaya. Sorry it took me a while, but here it is.
* The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover/partner.
* Need to mention the sex of the target.
* Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their Comments saying they've been tagged.
* If tagged the 2nd time, there’s no need to post again.
TARGET: Male (HunkyMonkey)
Tall, good-looking to my eyes as we all have different taste to what is good-looking. Olive skin, no mustache, no beard (not a fan of facial hair)
Someone who is as hard as a rock but at the same time soft and cuddly on the inside and is sentsitive to a woman's needs. Or atleast try to understand me, as a woman.
Somebody sane. Somebody who has a kind of insanity that I can tolerate.
Someone that connects with me, who has the ability to make magical spells over me. Someone who has a pure spirit.
Someone who can meet me half-way - meeting of the minds. Someone who meets my brain waves. Someone whom I can communicate with me in special ways even without articulating.
Someone who knows how to handle his finances. Someone who is practical and wise financially. Someone who is able to invest his time efforts and money for the future. Atleast for our future and future family maybe.
Someone who is amiable, who enjoys the company of friends and family. Someone who knows how to have fun but at the same time knows how to prioritize time and money. Someone whom I enjoy hanging out with, share moments with, share hopes and dreams and thoughts and lots of things in life.
Everyone has an idea of a perfect partner/ perfect love. It is a subjective matter. Sometimes what we have in mind as an ideal partner may not always be applicable to actual life or actual people. I mean our idea of a perfect partner may never exist in this surface of the earth. Some people go a lifetime searching for Mr. Right, I know I started from that point. But how do you know when you finally meet that person?
I can only speak for myself, I just knew it, once I saw him. So, now I'm happily married and the most important thing is that I know he loves me.
And So It Goes....
Life is a series of lessons after lessons that we have to eventually learn. Sometimes we don't heed the first second or third and so forth but life has it's way of teaching us many lessons. I would say the most challenging is knowing how to live a balanced life. A sense of balance in everything really is the key. One reason why I have decided to take a break from blogging is that I love blogging too much that I spent most of my time doing it and procrastinate on other aspects of my life. I thought that maybe I should give myself a break and maybe by then would have more things to talk about when I come back. It's prioritizing my time so I can do other things that I have posponed for a long time. As they sa "You're future depends on what you're doing NOW." I mean, not literally of course, but your future depends on where you devote your time and effort. And if you want to be good at something, or if you want to acoomplish something you just have to focus all your energy to it and you shall achieve. It's always so easy to talk about it, easier said than done. Of course willpower and determination too helps a lot. So, that's what I have been trying to do. To refocus my energy, my effort towards some other stuff that I have pushed aside. I am terrible at procrastinating, but blogging seems to be so easy and fun, that's probably I would do it more often than the harder stuff to do. So, if you don't see my updates, I am trying to do things in real life, aside from my virtual/ blog life.
These past years I can say that I have learned so much. Part of getting old and of course lots of experiences. I am learning more and more about handling relationship. We learn everyday, as we deal with our spouses. It has really been wonderful to share life with someone, the good, the bad and all things that come with it. Handling a relationship takes time and effort to learn. It's a continious give and take, and make sure you just don't take and take. One that I have learned is that to nurture that relationship, one has to be unselfish, and one very trick is to wake up everyday and think what you can do for the other person. What can I do to make him or her happy. Even the very small things can make the other person feel loved and cared. It's not just saying to them how much you love them but also show it in your actions. Of course, hugs and kisses are always a bonding glue that brings you close to people you love especailly your spouse. This is something that I will always be a part of my life that I want to keep working on, since it is a journey. Make the journey more enjoyable by sharing it with someone.
Practice - practice always makes perfect in anything you want to achieve. It takes practiceto get you there. And one thing that I want to keep practicing is positive view with life. It takes practice to be able to live a positive life. What one practices would become a habit and a habit can become a way of life. To keep practicing positive thoughts takes time and conscious effort. It is so easy to be pessimistic . To think that nothings seems to be going right when things aren't going as we plan it to be or as we thought it would be. But keeping a positive attitude would actually turn a not so good outcome into a learning experience and maybe with determination start over again until you gain a satisfying result.
Time - is managaing time and effort, distributing it accordingly. It is so easy to just do the things we love to do and procrastinate in things that we are not so fond of. But some of the things we have to do are really important, even if we are not that fond about doing it because it is hard. But it's in doing the harder stuff in life that we discover our potentials. It's life' s tests really. Set time to make something happen.
Planning - Life would always be a series of planning and replanning. Even if another kind of life happens when you are busy planning. But it's better to keep creating a road map on how you want to get to where you are going is always better rather just going with the flow, without a map. Knowing where you want to get and where you want to go is the question in the fisrt place. Because even if you keep going and you don't know where you want to go, how would you know when you have reached that......whatever it is your destination is, a level of success, a level of accomplishment, a certain level of maturity, a degree of contentment, or a certain stage in life you want to reach. Setting up goals is important.
These are some of the things that I want to incorporate in my daily life, plus some other things like:
Waking up everyday and to make it a purpose to just keep going, improving - to think of each day as another chance to better myself. Keep going is the key - there will be some days that are great, some will be not so great, some would be just okey and some will just be so bad, which would come in various levels of bad, terrible to worst. But, as long as we keep going, we'll be alright.
Another thing is to try to meet more people. Meet and make more friends in the vitual world as well as face to face encounters.
To be more productive in everything I do. Atleast most of what I do. And to do my very best in whatever I do.
To continually work on keeping myself healthy through exercise, more fruits and vegetables, more healthy drinks, less coffee, less sodium ( I don't know if I am the only one who is into salt. I probably like more salt on my food that most people, even on strawberries.)
To be able to do more things in actual life compared to what I think and imagine my life in my head. (You know how you can talk a lot of things in your blog and yet nothing seems to be going on in real life, I mean, is it all in my head? Well, I do feel like that sometimes. That can't be so bad, afterall, our lives would mold into what and how we envision it, or atleast it is as how we envision it.)
To Start With......
It has been a great year and this year is another chapter to start over again. A year full of hope. Isn't it great that we are given year after year to start all over again. Year after year of chances to renew ourselves, to start afresh with whatever goals we have in life. It is indeed a great chance for us to look back and see what we have done for the past years and at the same time look forward to what we could do better this year.
Life is a series of lessons we need to learn. Year after year we want to start with something great. Putting up a goal to achieve for the year. It's life's way of giving us many chances to renew ourselves. I always love the feeling and the greatness of hope that the New Year always brings. It stirs up hope and a mode of optimism in everyone. It eventually wanes down as the year becomes an old year but the beginning of the year is ful of vibrant and cheerful people. The air might even feel fresher. Especially when people wants to do better, when people want to be better. It feels great.
It does the same thing for me as I look forward to the great long year ahead of me, hoping for a better, more productive year.
Let's hope that everyone would really stick to his or her new year's resolution. It's a great chance for us and let's not fail ourselves. It does take a lot of work sometimes, but if we are able to do it, it gives a sense of achievement. If we could stick to our resolutions we feel proud of ourselves. So, keep it going and keep doing it till we reach the end of the year. The best thing is, we'll never run out of things to renew. Year after year, there's always something that we need to renew. So, once we are able to achieve our list for this year, hopefully we'll jump to more great stuff in the coming years to come.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of you, who have left messages and greetings while I was in a very long holiday. I would like you all to know that you are all appreciated and best wishes for the New Year! It has been wonderful to be able to meet vitual and blog friends, sharing daily life's stories, jokes, stuff and everything. It has been awesome to be able to learn and broaden perspectives through all your stories and thoughts and opinions and ramblings and I look forward to reading and learning more from you all as we go through another year of living, learning, meeting people, meeting minds, meeting and exploring other peoples' life dimensions. May you all continue living life to the fullest, having fun, learning from each other, being friends, bonding through the vitual world. It has been an honor to have met all of you, knowing you through this web and may we continue in our long journey, wherever we may want to head, always going forward, keeping up with life's demand and still have fun. It's been a pleasure and I wish you all the best, not just the best but the bestest.......if there is such a thing.