Embroidery of Thoughts: 04/2005

Tuesday

I am off for vacation!!!!!wohooooo! I hope this trip will be really full of fun and enjoyable experience. Mean while, I will leave you shots from the beautiful Jekyll Island

Jekyll Island gate

The Atlantic Ocean by the Georgia Coast

Pier Marina

Wow, I am just a speck in this wide wide sky, ocean and earth! Looks infinite.

Friday

Got silly about Dinner

Yum Yum! Does it look yummy or what? Prawns on a stick, marinated and grilled. Veggies(choi in Chinese) sauted in garlic and olive oil. I don't know about you but to me it looks delectable. That was my dinner by the way. It has been ground to pieces by now as the gastric juices and enzymes break them down to even smaller bits of pieces and goes on the process. From there, you know what happens. But let's not go there. So, just enjoy the visual effect. Too bad it doesn't have smell-o-vision.

Thursday

And it goes on

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
-- Robert Frost

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Talking to Hg, reminded me of a lot of things that happenned to me as a neophyte in this country. It feel so much better now and I could just laugh at it. But I could see myself in her situation now way back years ago. I am, of course tougher now. All I do was laugh and keep telling her "you'll learn, it's always hard at the beginning" which of course a very honest advise. And she's learning fast, in fact, she is doing so well, she just doesn't know it. Work situations seems hard to figure out at the beginning but once you've learned the routine, it would be so much easier. Confidence is also a learned and acquired skill over a course of time. It may sometimes come naturally , sometimes it has to build up. I would say, I have earned mine. It wasn't easy, I probably have been several embarassements before I finally gained a thick skin. J would always say "loosen up." It's one thing that I try to apply in my daily activities. I would condition my mind "okey, got to loosen up, got to relax." It of course works for most of the time. There's something about relaxing and just going with the flow that makes life so much easier. There are days that I try so hard and I feel stuck in the second gear. Like an engine that tries so hard pumping so much gas but not going anywhere. I guess the relaxing method works, you just have to learn how. Otherwise you'll be exhausted and would still be stuck.

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I watched as the southern sky started to swallowed the last ray of light, I stood still. I wondered if the other side of the world has been brightened up. Wherever I am, I have this constant yearning for whatever it is. Between the worlds apart, there's this one piece of the puzzle missing and I wondered if I will ever find it.Probably, one day along the journey, meantime, I would let the mystery of the sunset envelope my being. The sunset that would soon bring up the rising sun, a whole new day.

The other night, I didn't seem to have noticed the boundaries between daylight and night time. I totally engrossed myself to what I was doing. Time passed swiftly as the wisp of the wind. Time crept through me and I haven't noticed.

J woke up this morning with a panic realization that I will be leaving in a few days. He tried to look up things for me like documents and information. I was just laughing and told him I will be fine.

Excitement still eludes me. I guess I have a spark of excitement building up. I better start getting ready and I better go have fun for this is what I have been waiting for for months now.

Sunday

What's up,World?

"It is the choices we make that enslave our souls"

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I am back! Bwuhahahaha! Just as you thought I was dead.Sorry for the long vacation, I mean hibernation. Sorry, you must be tired of the same post every time you click this page. I know, I had been dead tired clicking on this page and reads the same old stuff for like months now. But well, I had been away because of reasons unmentionable or let's just say I had been very busy. Perhaps we'll leave it to the privacy of my own world. Or leave it to the reader's imagination. Anyway, I am back and I am happy I am back. But you know what, now that I am back, I am about to go away for a real vacation. Now, this time is a real vacation and I am flying halfway around the globe back to my homeland. I would say that this trip is intended for me to do some kind of soul searching. Perhaps to find myself again out there.

Gosh! don't you have those times when you feel lost. The body is there, but where's the spirit?

I brew me a cup of ginseng coffee with cocoa and gulped it. I hate these days when I totally lack the motivation. I have the clothes and stuff piled up in the guest room and in the bedroom for me to pack and organize but I I did today was watch the freaken tv and lounge around. There are days that I would sleep and zzzzzzzz all day like I haven't slept in days, yet when I get up I still feel tired. I know it, yet I still do it. When you oversleep, it isn't good. You think you would be well rested but sleeping too much will make you even more groggy for the rest of the day. I sometimes want to beat the crap out of myself for doing that and then ending up not accomplishing anything at all for the whole day. Let's see, what have I accomplished today? I transplanted that small orange plant that have grown big during the winter months. The pot has become too small for the orange tree. I raked a few pine cones by the walkway. Trimmed some more of the mondo grass that were still left untrimmed when I trimmed them the last time. I moved the Rosemary to the front yard. I did a few rounds of jumping jack using a jumping rope. I ate one steak taco. I watched "Look Who's Talking Now" for the nth time. And am able to moyivate myself to write all these on this new page. So, I guess I did a little bit of something today! Way to go girl. I hope I will do more than that the rest of the week.

Embroidery of Thoughts