Tuesday

Love is all we need


The journey up ahead is really coming and I have mixed feelings about it. The tag-of-war of excitement and sadness and all other emotions are freaking me out right now. I think that I would be bereft without you. Just just how I feel at the moment of course but I am trying to think of all the possibilities and all the things, new things and experiences that I will be having in the future if I am going to take this trip. Great things may happen. i might meet great people and I might encounter unexpected experiences and all the things unexpected. Whatever they maybe I guess I can take the risk and go ahead and just go. So, what I am probably leaving behind, is just "wishful thinking". But we'll leave it to the laws of the universe and the Gods, I believe that if it's meant to be, it will happen. I have had experiences, painful experiences that happened before in my life but it was meant to happen because there was something else even bigger and greater awaiting for me at the other side of the road. And I believe this is true. We may not understand things that are happening to us for the moment but it will soon unfold before us when we get there. Then we would say "ah!, so this is why things didn't work out." If we believe that there's something else awaiting us, be hopeful and keep a pure heart. It would feel rewarding at the end. So, I consider what I am going through right now, a challenge and is happening for a reason and I intend to find out what lies ahead for me. To move on and be positive and have fun in spite of all these and maybe at the end of the tunnel lies the answers. Only the optimistic people survive this so called life. It's not easy, we get bruises and get bumped and ran over. All we have to do is keep getting up and keep on keeping on. Right now I am stuck at the moment. My wheels are not turning as they are supposed to be, the wheels in my brain just keeps turning with torturing thoughts going over and over and over same thoughts without a resolution. It's sickening already. It's killing me and I don't know how to handle it. The butterflies in my stomach just really feels like butterflies. And then I haven't even taken actions on packing things and I have a lot of packing and organizing and lots of things I have to do but I am not doing anything. I am dragging myself to do it today and the coming days.
I watched 13 going 30 last night and I totally agree with Jenna Rink(Jennifer Garner) "Love is a battlefield". She said we have to fight for what we want. Heartache to heartache, we stand together. Love, life is such. Talking about heartache. I am having one right now at the very moment. Can't stand it anymore. Maybe because I don't really talk about it. Maybe if I pour my heart out then I will free myself of the spell, what ever it is.

"Love is a battlefield. Heartache to heartache, we all stand together. Love is a battlefield.
"

Like the song by the Beatles, all we need is love, love is all we need. If you truly look at life, for me it is very true. It's love we all need. If we have love, there's nothing else to look for. What are you looking for in life, anyway? There are times that I am crushed by this question because I cannot seem to really come up with it. I mean we go through life, we search for that which we cannot find. Whatever that is. Don't you have those days that life seems so incomplete? Or is it just me. You know, you're waiting, hoping anticipating for something. I am at a loss sometimes. Sometimes I think I am just insane. And truly believe that I am insane. But you know, sometimes life is like that.

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