Wednesday

"Life is uncertain"



Things are happening so fast right now, things are changing so fast and I am a bit overwhelmed by the thought and responsibility that I am about to face but I am confident that I will be able to handle it. It's always hard at first, but when you get the hang of it, it will start to get easier. But I guess that's the challenge. The previous weeks, I have been through rainbows of emotions and it's hard. It's like riding in a roller coaster, your brain doesn't quite function well. Everything is spinning, and my insides are twisted in knots. I couldn't even eat. I felt really sick. It felt like I have just woke up from a nightmare, only it was real. Slowly, reality starts to set in. My previous imagination of how things should be have suddenly collapsed, like that of a sand castle washed up by a strong wave. My imaginary vision of things have crumbled to the ground, broken into pieces and me standing over it, staring at it as it shattered and tried hard to rescue what's left. The broken pieces in my hand, broken and so is my heart. Tears rolled down my cheeks, as pain started to envelope me. Pain crushing my spirit, just crushing me inside and even as I type these words, I can't just keep myself from crying. I know, it's my soul's way of screaming loud in silence. I don't quite know to put my emotions into words now. But there it is, I guess. Sometimes when I sit in the dark and watch the stars, I am in awe at everything that's happening to me. And it makes me wonder, you know, I traveled halfway around the globe to find love, to find life and I guess, this is life. That's the whole package and it's more than what I bargained for. It's hard, but at the sometime I am grateful to be able to experience all these. I think my story is unique in it's own way, and all these things happening to me makes like colorful. And I believe that we ought to learn from them, they have grate lessons we need to learn. Take them as challenges, make them your stepping stones towards higher heights, towards higher horizon wherever that maybe. I think that although at this time I may not understand things, answers would unfold as I go along the road. Whatever road these all may lead. And it gives me peace when I do the right thing no matter how painful it maybe. Pain is the greatest teacher in life. We learn the most when we encounter great pain, because that's how we all grow. It may take sometime to heal and recover but if we heed from them, we would grow as better persons. We grow within, we become tougher and more sure of ourselves. There's no certainty in life, but as we experience all these wonderful experiences, we somehow have a better perspective and a better view of what is ahead. I believe, hope keeps our spirits alive. That's there's something out there, that there's something better in store for us. And for me, I intend to find out what there is for me. It's also the consistent reminder to ourselves that life is always changing and taking unexpected twist and turns. And who knows what's beyond those bends of the road. It's exciting to take the path and think that there's some surprises out there for us and the anticipation always drives is to go forward. And so, I am looking for that bend on the road that would change things for me. It has been a great journey and I don't intend to stop here. I intend to find out what and where the road is heading to wherever that maybe and I hope that I will have the grace to choose the right path when I get to a crossroad. Right now, I see verdant greens, forests, and from my viewpoint life is still beautiful. There is hope.

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