Thursday

And it goes on

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
-- Robert Frost

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Talking to Hg, reminded me of a lot of things that happenned to me as a neophyte in this country. It feel so much better now and I could just laugh at it. But I could see myself in her situation now way back years ago. I am, of course tougher now. All I do was laugh and keep telling her "you'll learn, it's always hard at the beginning" which of course a very honest advise. And she's learning fast, in fact, she is doing so well, she just doesn't know it. Work situations seems hard to figure out at the beginning but once you've learned the routine, it would be so much easier. Confidence is also a learned and acquired skill over a course of time. It may sometimes come naturally , sometimes it has to build up. I would say, I have earned mine. It wasn't easy, I probably have been several embarassements before I finally gained a thick skin. J would always say "loosen up." It's one thing that I try to apply in my daily activities. I would condition my mind "okey, got to loosen up, got to relax." It of course works for most of the time. There's something about relaxing and just going with the flow that makes life so much easier. There are days that I try so hard and I feel stuck in the second gear. Like an engine that tries so hard pumping so much gas but not going anywhere. I guess the relaxing method works, you just have to learn how. Otherwise you'll be exhausted and would still be stuck.

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I watched as the southern sky started to swallowed the last ray of light, I stood still. I wondered if the other side of the world has been brightened up. Wherever I am, I have this constant yearning for whatever it is. Between the worlds apart, there's this one piece of the puzzle missing and I wondered if I will ever find it.Probably, one day along the journey, meantime, I would let the mystery of the sunset envelope my being. The sunset that would soon bring up the rising sun, a whole new day.

The other night, I didn't seem to have noticed the boundaries between daylight and night time. I totally engrossed myself to what I was doing. Time passed swiftly as the wisp of the wind. Time crept through me and I haven't noticed.

J woke up this morning with a panic realization that I will be leaving in a few days. He tried to look up things for me like documents and information. I was just laughing and told him I will be fine.

Excitement still eludes me. I guess I have a spark of excitement building up. I better start getting ready and I better go have fun for this is what I have been waiting for for months now.

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