words of the day:......sometimes I run, sometimes I hide, sometimes I walk, sometimes I think.

I think one of my weaknesses involve my lack of self-confidence. I can't say that I totally lack, but there are instances that I whimp out or chicken out. Especially in a conversation or a confrontation that somehow I know I'm right but wasn't able to speak my mind. It gives me that restlessness until I express my thoughts or feelings about certain things. J would say "Sleep on it. If you still feel that way tomorrow then talk about it, settle it with the people involve." He's right of course. So, the next day I talked to the people involved. Expressed what I feel and think and I felt better. And of course atleast I know I didn't bottled up my feelings and forever held my piece. Somehow I have this negative attitude of bottling up my feelings but I am learning to handle it. I am getting the courage to express my opinion wisely. I always thought it's better not to talk a lot. Absorb what the other party thinks and feels and weigh what the best approach. It works sometimes but of course all people are different. They take things in different manners, so be ready to counteract or accept how they may take the news. I'm not so much an extrovert. Infact I am more of an introvert. But when I am around people that I am comfortable with, I am bubbly and blabbly. But more and more I am learning how to say things as it is. Of course there are ocassions where for the sake of pleasantry I would lie to make the other person feel better, or to make the other person at ease with me. Most of the time I am fair when I criticize, or when asked about my opinion about certain things.Most of the time, I don't really judge people or things, for they come in different forms but they may not always be what they seem to be.A lot of times people hide behind layers and layers of masks, that you have to peel these masks one by one to reveal thier true self. Admit it, we are all vulnerable that's we hide in our own shells.Sometimes our shells are as hard as a turtle shell.Sometimes I see people are like turtles, not that slow though, but with shells around them. When we are poked on our weakest side we bury our head and tail inside our shells. I think we are all afraid of disclosure. To come out bare, naked for all the world to see. I think it's actually a wonder how humans are trapped in bodies of chameleons shaped as humans. We could change our colors to adopt to our environment.And it's great that we humans possess that ability unless of course if we do it in pursuit of our evil intentions then that's something very wrong.
I hate people who are fake. People who act very pleasant but they really don't like you at all.Or people who talk behind your back. I even appreciate if they just tell it to my face. Yes just tell it to my face!
Ah, baby showers! It's something new to me. Where I grew up in the Philippines we didn't have baby showers. I could remember people giving baby gifts to newly born babies but I haven't heard of baby showers until I moved to America. I find baby showers very useful. J, of course didn't want to come along with me to the baby shower of her twin sister, but he came anyway. He thinks it's just for women but I argued, it's for the baby not for mothers. Somehow I convinced him to come. It was fun, we played games. Clips were distributed and whoever is heard saying the word "baby" or crosses her legs loses her clips. Of course whoever had the most clips wins. The other game was the cutting of toilet papers to measure the belly of the pregnant woman. Well, I did win this one. I had the exact measurement of her belly. The third game involved objects shown from a box and we have to write all the objects shown in a piece of paper. This one I just got lost. There were about 20 objects and I was just lost, I was only able to write down 10 of them. It's kind of fun to be with the would be moms. We even wrote down advises and hints for the mother to be. I'm sure everyone who becomes a mom will know what to do when they get there. Others can do better of course, but I'm sure first time moms learn in thier own way.


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