Saturday

Fourty Years of Virginity

We watched "The 40 year old Virgin", I think it's hilarious. It touched the subject of sex and virginity and relationship. First of, I don't think it's that bad to be a virgin. At 40 though that's a little too far down the road. I know some people who have reached their 30's and 40's and still single. Don't know if they are virgins though. That's something that people don't openly share. It's a sensitive issue for some people. And if they choose to be celibate for along time in their lives it's not that bad. But that's just me. In this modern world, it's almost like it's a fad that people should or must have to lost virginity especially for men. I don't know though if it's really a realistic desire of every growing teenager. It's almost like a race, who gets to get laid first or is it just all talk? But what is that, just for the heck of it. Being a woman for that matter, I respect my body and I think I got to be careful whom I share my body with.

I grew up in a more conservative environment and my parents always stressed on being careful. Growing up in the Philippines I wasn't even allowed to have a boyfriend even when I was in college. You might think, that I had been shielded. I grew up at a different place and time and I have to admit that I was in culture shock once I was submerged with the American culture. But I learn and I think am doing well. There's a certain feeling of freedom when you embrace some of the liberated ideas and still keep your own culture of upbringing. It's almost like meging two extreme ways of thinking and and keep it in a balance by staying at the middle.When I say balancing, it's choosing which way of thinking and way of life between all the liberated as well as conservative ways of lives. Not only that, expose yourself to other ways of thinking and then you get to decide which is better or best for yourself. In the process of submerging yourself, one undergoes certain levels of learning which involves confusion in the beginning. But once things settles down, a certain understanding starts to clear up.

Now going back to virginity, I grew up in a very inocent world where in our 20's a lot of us were still virgins and at that time, virginity was something precious and was thought to be kept only for the future spouse. Atleast that was the case for women, it seems to be not the case for the guys. They require the women to stay virgins until the night of their wedding, but it seems that the men wasn't required to. A double standard case and somehow I think it still is the case in the Philippines. But more and more women are getting into the liberated thinking, not to equal with men , but questions why they are required to be virgins and the men can do whatever they want. But I know that there are still a lot of Filipinos that still thinks that virginity is very important. I have to admit that even with my exposure to the more liberated ways of life, it scares me that some people gets sexually active at very young age. I don't have any kids yet, but I am already worried for my unborn children. Is that crazy or what? But as people keep telling me, it will depend on what kind of upbringing my children will have. Hopefully it will be the case. I remember a friend I had way back when we were still living in New Orleans. She used to tell me about her teen age son, she says she has a hard time handling him. And at one time, she saw some pornographic magazines in her son's room. Being a Filipina mom, she probably was horrified and confronted her son. The dad, he's American by the way, seems to be more relaxed about it. My friend was also concerned when her son told her he wants to get an apartment of his own. It's some of the scary stages of growing up to a mother. Her son was 17 at that time. Now as I am thinking about it, I am thinking, I have to better prepare myself for all these changes that may happen in the future by educating myself on how to discuss the sensitive issues with my future children (even if I don't have children yet). Although, I'm sure I will learn on hands on experience. I'm sure it will be harder when I am actually there, but learning to discuss sex issues comfortably would be a start. I have to admit that even with my husband, when talking about sex related issues, I still clam up. And it's because I grew up where sex related issues aren't openly discussed.

In The 40 Year Old Virgin, there was a part where the guys were talking about how sex could complicate things in a relationship. I think it does complicate things, especially if two people have sex at the earliest part of their relationship without even knowing each other. You know how they say "No sex on a first date". I think it's a wise idea. One should know the person more if you want a wholesome relationship. So that if ever you discover things that may ruin that relationship you will be able to back off without being hurt that bad. Like when you discover the other party, is married and he/she lied to you. Then you can always partways and start over again. Or during the course of knowing each other, you feel like he/she's not really the person you want to spend the rest of your life. It would be easier to break up when sex isn't involve. The thing is sometimes people gets trapped into this sex thing, others are blackmailed especially if the woman is pregnant. The more gentle men would be obligated to "do the right thing". Then they will be trapped in a relationship even marriage that they didn't want or aren't ready for in the first place. I have heard a lot of these case way back when I was in the Philippines, the women gets pregnant, the boyfriend is forced to marry the woman or else the relatives of the lady, the father,the brothers will hunt the boyfriend if he refuses to. See, how sex could complicate relationships. It could tie a person to eternal damnation. I mean, maybe not eternal, but it's just like tying a rope around your neck, the thing is the other party won't hesitate to pull that rope tight if you try to run away from the deal.

You know there may not be a specific age one should engage in sex, but I think one should enjoy first the inocent years. To me, losing virginity is almost tantamount to losing ones inocence. Some may disagree. But once you engage in sex for the first time, it's a whole new world, it's like opening Pandora's box. There's no way of returning to that inocent stage of your life. You start to see things differently, and then gone is the inocent child in you. You wouldn't even want to be called a child anymore. So to those of you who are still teenagers, hopfully you enjoy your inocent years first before openning that "Pandora's box".

Does that mean that Andy enjoyed 40 years of inocent years? Maybe...be the judge.

The part that I found hilarious was when Andy was holding the mold of the female sex organ and saying "So, where does the pennis go?" Isn't that very inocent?

See, I also have this inocent question, is the female **gina exactly the opposite of the male **nis,I mean when you put the **nis inside out? I don't know how to write it to make it sound not too rated X. I guess you have to watch the movie,if you want to. Otherwise you wouldn't know what I'm talking about and I hope you would enjoy it as much as I did.

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