Thursday

New Year Challenge!

The holidays have come and passed by. The new year is here and I am still the old me. I hadn't time really to think of my new year's resolution. For some reason there's this melancholia seeping through me right at this very moment.But I know moments like this will soon vanish. Now, there's the spirit. Even if all I want to do is to lay my head on the table and let my tears just drip on the wooden desk. I also want to shout, because I am sick of it, just so full of it and I want to explode. Gosh! somtimes life can be so chaotic. Gosh, I want to hit my head hard on the wall and see what happens, it might clear my mind that has been in limbo for days now.It can be so difficult or am I just making it hard on myself. Ok I am being torn apart. I guess it's getting heavy on me. Sometimes I would say to myself "what's your problem woman?" When I don't even know what's wrong. I try to clear my mind and it gets foggier. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!help! At other times I would scream to myself "suck it up"! and appear to be the perfectly normal happy person. But when nobody's looking, there I go with my demented thoughts.But who doesn't have their moments? Aha, I guess I am normal after all. I think my only problem is that I let people get into my skin.Ok, I think I did a lot of damage, I mean drama. Do you somtimes feel like a loser, some days? That's just how I feel today for some reason only God knows.

Isn't that great? My new year started with a lot of challenges. I don't know if it's a good thing or not. But hopefully it will push me to do things that I have postponed for a long time. I guess it's high time to boldy go and pursue and somehow there's got to be a driving force behind.

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